PURPOSELY DYING
by Tommy-kun123
Summary: The title says it all. *NEP SWEARING* *Based on UberHaxorNova's video of the same title*


In a game session of Battleblock Theater…  
As two players were about to finish a level.  
One player stops in front of the exit as the other player hangs on a ledge.

"Whoaoaoaoaoaoaooaoaoaoaoooaooaoao waitwaitwait. 'The fuck you doing?" Neptune asked unamused. "You didn't die nearly enough."  
"I-" But then Blanc pauses for a moment. "Wait what? What does that even mean that; "I didn't die nearly enough."" Blanc wondered.  
"You have to die more." Neptune bluntly replied. "You have to DIE more."  
"What the fuck? Why?" Blanc asked sharply.  
"What do you mean "Why?"" Neptune chuckles a bit. "You don't know the deal? That's how it is. That's what people do these days. They die more." Neptune explains.  
"They die on purpose. Die on purpose, and we extended the series, Blanc." Neptune explains further.  
"Just go back and die a little bit more. That's what I'm asking of you."  
"I don't wanna go back and do the same level that we just did, like, that's not fun anymore." Blanc retorted back. "I'm not gonna fake my reaction and die for no reason."  
"Blanc, for the love of God-"  
"There's no fucking reason for-!"  
"BLANC! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!" Neptune suddenly screamed.  
"Wha-?"  
"GO FUCKING BACK AND DIE MORE! IT MAKES IT MORE GODDAMN FUNNY! GO BACK AND DIE!"  
"Wait, I-" Blanc tries to talk through Neptune's anger.  
"WE NEED MORE DEATHS IN THIS SERIES! DYING ON PURPOSE MAKES IT FUNNY!"  
"I don't understand why you're yelling at me right now." Blanc whimpers.  
"I don't understand-"  
"OH MY GOD!" Neptune was still mad.  
"Wha-?"  
"IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA GO BACK AND FUCKING DIE MORE, I'M GONNA FLY OVER TO YOUR BASILLICOM AND I FUCKING TAKE YOUR CONTROLLER AND I'M GONNA DIE MYSELF! YOU HEAR ME?!"  
"You don't have to get so mad." Blanc tried to reason with her.  
"IT MAKES IT EVEN MORE FUNNY. DYING ON PURPOSE IS FUNNY!"  
"I don't think it's funny the way it is though. i-"  
Neptune groans. Blanc hears her getting up.  
"Neptune, where are you going?" Blanc asked concerned.  
"I'M COMING OVER!" Neptune declared.  
"You don't have to do that." Blanc responded. No answer.  
"You don't have to do that. I would be- We could do this again if you didn't like it." Blanc suggested.  
"Like, you know, I- uh, I just try to have a genuine reaction for, uh, for the fans cuz... I don't wanna fake anything, but... You know, if you wanna go back and redo the take cuz you didn't think it was funny or anything. We could go and-"

A door suddenly opened up.  
"What are you-"  
"Give me your controller!" A distant voice called out.  
"Neptune-"  
"Gimme your controller!" It was none other than Nep herself.  
"Neptune, I- Fuck, like-"  
"BLANC!"  
"What?"  
"MOTHERFUCKER! I'M TIRED OF YOUR SHIT! YOU LISTEN TO ME!" Neptune continues her yelling.  
"It's not-"  
"YOU DIE ON PURPOSE-"  
"I just-"  
"WHEN I TELL YOU TO DIE ON PUR- GIMME THE CONTROLLER!"  
"It's not a wireless controller!" Blanc struggled.  
Neptune just grunts. Blanc's avatar keeps jumping down and bouncing up.  
"It's got a cord! It's got a cord, Neptune."  
"You FUCKING asshole." Neptune shrugs it off.  
"It's got a cord! It got a cord!" Blanc kept pestering on.  
"SHUT UP!" Neptune snapped.  
"O- okay..." Blanc shrank down.

Blanc's avatar dies falling into the water and respawns next to the exit.  
"SEE?!"  
"Yeah..."  
"THAT'S ALL YOU HAD TO DO!"  
"I- I know-"  
"YOU JUST NEED TO FUCKING DIE! THAT'S ALL YOU NEEDED TO DO!"  
Blanc's avater keeps falling into the water over and over again.  
"JUST DIE! THAT'S ALL YOU NEED TO DO!" Neptune kept on. "NOW LAUGH!" She ordered.

"LAUGH FOR MEEEEEEEE!"  
"Oh hahahahahahaha..." Blanc 'laughs'.  
"LAUGH!"  
"Hahahahahahahahahaahaha." She breaths in. "Hahahahahahahaha."  
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Neptune joins in. "YEAH! WE'RE HAVING SO MUCH FUN NOW!"  
"Hahahahahahaha-"  
"BECAUSE WE'RE DYING OVER AND OVER AGAIN!"  
"Hahahahhuuhuuhuuhuu..." Blanc's laughter slowly descends into sobbing.  
"IT'S SO MUCH FUUUUUN!" Neptune kept the uproar.  
"Why're you doing this?"  
"LAUGH! LAUGH!"  
"Why are you doing this?"  
"DIE MORE! AND LAUGH! CONTINUE LAUGHING!"  
"Uhuuhuuhuu... This is so much fun..." Blanc whimpers. "Uuuuuuuu... I'm having so much fun."  
"ALRIGHT GOOD! YEAH, THAT'S WHAT MAKES GOOD FUCKING CONTENT!" Neptune was satisfied.  
"I don't wanna do this anymore..." Blanc sobs.  
"Alright, now give 'em- give them the stupid little laugh you usually do so I can end the video." Neptune ordered. "Just give 'em like a; "HUEHUEHUEHUEHUE", you know.  
Just give 'em a laugh."  
"Ugh... Ugh... Huhuhuhuuuuu..." Blanc meekly let out.  
"BLANC! LAUGH FOR ME AGAIN!" Once again, Neptune roared.  
"Haaah.. Haa... HAHAHAHAHAAAaaaaaa...!" Blanc mustered all she could on that laugh.  
"Thanks girl. Should make a good video." Neptune said as she exits the room.

"Uuuurrgh..."  
This was NOT Blanc's day.


End file.
